the_oracle: (plotting)
Secrets
April 2008



   For all the changes in Double Love, you'd expect Secrets to get a massive overhaul. You would be so, so very wrong. I guess the appeal of trashing your sister's best friend in an attempt to get a stupid crown is universal?


  • Enid and George email, because apparently NO ONE writes letters any more. There's some nonsense about Enid dragging a folder full of emails to Liz's desktop because Liz needs to seriously defrag her computer, and then of course the E/E are too stupid to delete the file even though it's bound to catch Jessica's attention when she next uses Elizabeth's computer to check her email. Seriously, at least the letter fluttering away wasn't as farfetched as forgetting to get rid of damning evidence.

  • Everyone, but Enid, who reads George's emails realizes he's in love with her. Even Winston knows.

  • George had people call him Geo. I nearly died when I read that. Geo? Seriously?

  • Geo and Enid got fucked up on E, pot, and vodka only to end up with a massive case of the munchies. So they ran over a kid, paralyzed him for life, and now Geo's parents are paying for the kid's medical bills from now until the end of time. Good job, guys. In the original [if you need a refresher] the kid had a mild concussion and a broken arm. Wow, twenty five years later and they stick it to you for life. Sucks for the kid.

  • Geo, Enid, and Winston knew each other from camp. E only transfered schools to escape the stigma that follows one when they royally screw someone else's life up.

  • Winston skateboards now. I'm having a hard time believing this, considering what a klutz he's supposed to be. Then, what do you know, they mention he's obviously fallen more than a few times recently.

  • Cara actually gives a decent explanation of why Jessica should fear the odds of Enid actually beating her unlike before, when she thought Ronnie would just, I dunno, pound people until they voted for Enid. Lila will sweep the sophomore votes because they're more sophisticated [bitch, Cara! I love you] and worship Lila's celeb connections, Jessica will likely garner the normal freshmen, Jess, Lila, and Liz will split the normal juniors and seniors, but Enid? Enid's gonna get the outcast votes. All the people who want to see a total upset? They'll vote Enid. And there are always more people on the outside looking in than there are on the inside. Well, unless you were in my classes. Then, I swear, out of 20 kids, there were five outsiders, and three of them weren't so much outsiders as not quite inner circle. The other two? Me and the girl who taught me the joys of skipping school. *cough* Good lord, actual logic in SV, and it made sense. Call the authorities! Apocalypse impending!

  • Caroline is described as having friends. I know, right? When the heck did that happen?

  • Mr. Collins isn't a young Robert Redford anymore and as a result, his fashion sense has taken such a nosedive even Liz can mock his outfits. Ouch.

  • Olivia Davidson does the opinion section on The Oracle site. Uh, what, arts have been rendered obsolete by the computer age?

  • Liv also says, "Oh. My. Goddess!" In fact, nothing much is said concerning her artistic ways, although to be fair, originally she was more feminist powerhouse with a heaping of clueless moreso than super!passionate but totally one dimensional [in the wrong hands] artiste. Still, I don't recall quite that much science love coming from her the first go round...

  • Lila's handy with the photoshop, as instead of someone scribbling "If you don't know what a french-kiss is, ask Ken Matthews" on the blackboard, Lila finds a picture of Ms. Dalton with her eyes closed, licking her lips, and one of Ken laughing "giddily." When Ken finds out, he refuses to go to the dance with Lila, but will... show up to the after-party. Parties that necessitate their own after-parties are weird.

  • Lila's having a martini-tasting party, instead of a get together where she breaks out Daddy's good wine. I'm not going to ask how this is a good update...

  • "Hey, you don't look too happy for someone who's going to the dance tonight with the most fantastic guy on the West Coast."

  • "Burt Reynolds is taking me to the dance?" Burt is now Jake Gyllenhaal, and Todd's upgraded himself to "hottest guy". I dunno why, but I always figured Jake for more of a East Coaster rather than your typical Hollywood sort. Doesn't matter.

  • Liz rats Jessica out, unlike the original which had Liz protecting Jessica, even as Enid asked who'd managed to stab her in the back.

  • Instead of seeking Ms. Dalton out at her apartment, Enid runs into her at the grocery store, where the gods have aligned the planets just so in order to have all three of Enid's favorite Ben & Jerry's flavors available at once. Obviously she is meant to buy, and eat, them all instead of going to homecoming.

  • George's eyes are green, instead of their original grey.
  • This book is padded. The original is 118 pages. The new one? 154.

  • Jessica has a pink cellphone, surprising no one.



   But three very important aspects of the story remain the same.

  1. George is still hotter than hot has a right to be.

  2. Enid is so distracted by the hotness than she forgets she's not wearing shoes when he first tries to whisk her away to the dance.

  3. Winston still says, "Anyway, I know people thinks I'm some big blabbermouth, but I can keep my lips zipped when it counts." Okay, what he originally said was, "I know everyone thinks I have a big mouth, but I know how to keep it shut when it counts." Technically, that's far more timeless than the update, but he still gets a kiss from Liz, and it still makes me love him anyway. Yay, Winston!



I still don't know who the guy on the cover is. Ronnie? Bruce? George? I'm thinking Bruce is a bad bet.
the_oracle: (plotting)
Secrets
April 2008



   For all the changes in Double Love, you'd expect Secrets to get a massive overhaul. You would be so, so very wrong. I guess the appeal of trashing your sister's best friend in an attempt to get a stupid crown is universal?


  • Enid and George email, because apparently NO ONE writes letters any more. There's some nonsense about Enid dragging a folder full of emails to Liz's desktop because Liz needs to seriously defrag her computer, and then of course the E/E are too stupid to delete the file even though it's bound to catch Jessica's attention when she next uses Elizabeth's computer to check her email. Seriously, at least the letter fluttering away wasn't as farfetched as forgetting to get rid of damning evidence.

  • Everyone, but Enid, who reads George's emails realizes he's in love with her. Even Winston knows.

  • George had people call him Geo. I nearly died when I read that. Geo? Seriously?

  • Geo and Enid got fucked up on E, pot, and vodka only to end up with a massive case of the munchies. So they ran over a kid, paralyzed him for life, and now Geo's parents are paying for the kid's medical bills from now until the end of time. Good job, guys. In the original [if you need a refresher] the kid had a mild concussion and a broken arm. Wow, twenty five years later and they stick it to you for life. Sucks for the kid.

  • Geo, Enid, and Winston knew each other from camp. E only transfered schools to escape the stigma that follows one when they royally screw someone else's life up.

  • Winston skateboards now. I'm having a hard time believing this, considering what a klutz he's supposed to be. Then, what do you know, they mention he's obviously fallen more than a few times recently.

  • Cara actually gives a decent explanation of why Jessica should fear the odds of Enid actually beating her unlike before, when she thought Ronnie would just, I dunno, pound people until they voted for Enid. Lila will sweep the sophomore votes because they're more sophisticated [bitch, Cara! I love you] and worship Lila's celeb connections, Jessica will likely garner the normal freshmen, Jess, Lila, and Liz will split the normal juniors and seniors, but Enid? Enid's gonna get the outcast votes. All the people who want to see a total upset? They'll vote Enid. And there are always more people on the outside looking in than there are on the inside. Well, unless you were in my classes. Then, I swear, out of 20 kids, there were five outsiders, and three of them weren't so much outsiders as not quite inner circle. The other two? Me and the girl who taught me the joys of skipping school. *cough* Good lord, actual logic in SV, and it made sense. Call the authorities! Apocalypse impending!

  • Caroline is described as having friends. I know, right? When the heck did that happen?

  • Mr. Collins isn't a young Robert Redford anymore and as a result, his fashion sense has taken such a nosedive even Liz can mock his outfits. Ouch.

  • Olivia Davidson does the opinion section on The Oracle site. Uh, what, arts have been rendered obsolete by the computer age?

  • Liv also says, "Oh. My. Goddess!" In fact, nothing much is said concerning her artistic ways, although to be fair, originally she was more feminist powerhouse with a heaping of clueless moreso than super!passionate but totally one dimensional [in the wrong hands] artiste. Still, I don't recall quite that much science love coming from her the first go round...

  • Lila's handy with the photoshop, as instead of someone scribbling "If you don't know what a french-kiss is, ask Ken Matthews" on the blackboard, Lila finds a picture of Ms. Dalton with her eyes closed, licking her lips, and one of Ken laughing "giddily." When Ken finds out, he refuses to go to the dance with Lila, but will... show up to the after-party. Parties that necessitate their own after-parties are weird.

  • Lila's having a martini-tasting party, instead of a get together where she breaks out Daddy's good wine. I'm not going to ask how this is a good update...

  • "Hey, you don't look too happy for someone who's going to the dance tonight with the most fantastic guy on the West Coast."

  • "Burt Reynolds is taking me to the dance?" Burt is now Jake Gyllenhaal, and Todd's upgraded himself to "hottest guy". I dunno why, but I always figured Jake for more of a East Coaster rather than your typical Hollywood sort. Doesn't matter.

  • Liz rats Jessica out, unlike the original which had Liz protecting Jessica, even as Enid asked who'd managed to stab her in the back.

  • Instead of seeking Ms. Dalton out at her apartment, Enid runs into her at the grocery store, where the gods have aligned the planets just so in order to have all three of Enid's favorite Ben & Jerry's flavors available at once. Obviously she is meant to buy, and eat, them all instead of going to homecoming.

  • George's eyes are green, instead of their original grey.
  • This book is padded. The original is 118 pages. The new one? 154.

  • Jessica has a pink cellphone, surprising no one.



   But three very important aspects of the story remain the same.

  1. George is still hotter than hot has a right to be.

  2. Enid is so distracted by the hotness than she forgets she's not wearing shoes when he first tries to whisk her away to the dance.

  3. Winston still says, "Anyway, I know people thinks I'm some big blabbermouth, but I can keep my lips zipped when it counts." Okay, what he originally said was, "I know everyone thinks I have a big mouth, but I know how to keep it shut when it counts." Technically, that's far more timeless than the update, but he still gets a kiss from Liz, and it still makes me love him anyway. Yay, Winston!



I still don't know who the guy on the cover is. Ronnie? Bruce? George? I'm thinking Bruce is a bad bet.
the_oracle: the cover image from Double Love, classic SVH (Default)
Double Love
April 2008



  The biggest change is the dialog. This is probably the biggest selling point for the revised editions. While some things still fall flat [or ring totally untrue, namely Liz's overuse of "ohmigod!"] for the most part the updates work. There's a bit too much reliance on pop-culture references, but that's pretty much going to be a personal preference for most people. I think it's a little much, some people probably think it could use a little more. But the story benefits from the tweaking. The twins don't seem quite as squeaky clean and Sweet Vally doesn't feel so much like a bubble at the moment. Granted, a lot of this is probably stuff you could have re-written in your head as you went along.

  But honestly, you're here for what's different. So, let's begin.

Because some of you'd rather not know. I feel your pain. )


  So, there you have it. The new books actually made me laugh aloud when I think I was supposed to, but they gutted my soul in the process, so... trade off. Classic Sweet Valley is cotton candy for my mind and soul. New Sweet Valley is a candy bar. More filling, but the odds of it making me sick are that much higher.

  Also, the cover? Kinda fugly upon too close an inspection. Those trees aren't green, they're suffering from radiation poisoning.
the_oracle: the cover image from Double Love, classic SVH (Default)
Double Love
April 2008



  The biggest change is the dialog. This is probably the biggest selling point for the revised editions. While some things still fall flat [or ring totally untrue, namely Liz's overuse of "ohmigod!"] for the most part the updates work. There's a bit too much reliance on pop-culture references, but that's pretty much going to be a personal preference for most people. I think it's a little much, some people probably think it could use a little more. But the story benefits from the tweaking. The twins don't seem quite as squeaky clean and Sweet Vally doesn't feel so much like a bubble at the moment. Granted, a lot of this is probably stuff you could have re-written in your head as you went along.

  But honestly, you're here for what's different. So, let's begin.

Because some of you'd rather not know. I feel your pain. )


  So, there you have it. The new books actually made me laugh aloud when I think I was supposed to, but they gutted my soul in the process, so... trade off. Classic Sweet Valley is cotton candy for my mind and soul. New Sweet Valley is a candy bar. More filling, but the odds of it making me sick are that much higher.

  Also, the cover? Kinda fugly upon too close an inspection. Those trees aren't green, they're suffering from radiation poisoning.
the_oracle: the cover image from Double Love, classic SVH (classic)
Double Love
October, 1983

Share the continuing story of the Wakefield twins and their friends-
their laughter, heartaches, and dreams.



Will Jessica steal Todd from Elizabeth?


  Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield are identical twins at Sweet Valley High. They're both popular, smart, and gorgeous, but that's where the similarity ends. Elizabeth is friendly, outgoing, and sincere- nothing like her snobbish and conniving twin. Jessica gets what she wants- at school, with friends, and especially with boys.
  This time, Jessica has her sights on Todd Wilkins, the handsome star of the basketball team- the one boy that Elizabeth really likes. Elizabeth doesn't want to lose him, but what Jessica wants, Jessica usually gets... even if it ends up hurting her sister.
  Meet the Wakefield twins, their guys, and the rest of the gang at Sweet Valley High.



  Double Love is fairly simple. You're introduced to the Wakefield twins. There's melodramatic Jessica, who isn't above trashing people's reputations to protect her own, but still manages to be incredibly popular. And then there's quiet, serious Liz who isn't above kissing a boy before the first date or plotting against her more diabolical sister. Both are gorgeous, popular, fantastic, and prone to emotional outbursts. Seriously. Liz bursts into tears no less than three times this book, sometimes for absolutely no reason. Jess also cries at the drop of a hat, but it's usually in order to manipulate someone.
  Got that? Good. Jess has set her sights on the current IT boy of Sweet Valley High, basketball captain and star, Todd Wilkins. Thing is, he seems more interested in talking to Jess so he can then get a hold of her twin, Elizabeth. Considering she's such an expert with guys, Jess figures he just doesn't know what he's missing, so she "helps" him realize the error of his ways. She's constantly caught offering him helpful little tidbits that cast Elizabeth as the flighty, popular, boy magnet twin, while she stays at home and, I dunno, washes her hair for the umpteenth time. The kicker, and proof that maybe Wilkins has taken one hit to the skull too many, is that he never cries bullshit on any of this. One could imagine that Liz is asked out plenty, and goes out fairly often, so it's okay if he believes that bit of the lie. Hormones make you stupid, especially when presented with the very real possibility that the object of your affection isn't at all interested in you.
  However, I remember first reading DL and knowing full well Jessica was full of it. You're pretty much told within seconds of meeting Jessica, that she has made her rounds through much of the male dating pool at SVH. Not in a full blown skanky way, but in that, "Sure we can go out and you can tell me how great I am," way. For Todd to believe anything other than this just blows my mind as much now as it did then. Idiot.
  Naturally, Liz doesn't know this, as she sits at home and dreams about her one true love, Todd Wilkins. She doesn't want much, dear diary, she just wants to be his girlfriend. They don't have to scale the highest mountains, swim the deepest seas, write the most epic of all love poems. No, what she wants is normalcy. She wants it to be normal for the two to eat lunch together and for him to randomly kiss her on the forehead, simply because he can and wants to do so. For they are in LOVE. That's all.
  But she never actually tells this to anyone. Ever. Because she's an idiot as well. She never tells her twin. She doesn't tell her best friend [though Enid has an extra braincell or two to rub together, so she's able to figure it out], and being that this is 1983, she sure as hell doesn't tell Todd she thinks he's keen or whatever. That last one I understand, but given that Jess is such a sneaky sort, you'd think it might be wise to let her in on the crush you've been harboring. Either to keep her away from said crush, or to get her to help you out, seeing as she isn't shy and knows her way around the male of the species well enough to snag a date for her sister. Just a thought.
  So Liz is dying a thousand deaths each time Todd calls to talk to Jess. Or she sees the two of them together. To complicate matters, Todd doesn't realize he's being set up as Jessica's newest conquest. So he still makes googly eyes at the wrong twin, still tries to get Liz alone, possibly so he can ask her to the big Phi Epsilon dance, or possibly just to say, "I love you, you idiot." So Liz is getting these "he likes me!" vibes and Jess doesn't know that Liz actually has any interest in Todd, so she sees no real problem in continuing to help Todd fall for the right Wakefield twin.
  This can only go on so long before something goes wrong and true love conquers all. So fate intervenes and decrees, "This shall not be a fifty page novel! We must have MORE conflict!"

  Another thing you should know. Jessica is not accustomed to being turned down. As far as she's concerned, she's the hottest thing around, and anyone who doesn't agree can go to hell. So when it becomes painfully clear that Todd isn't falling for her as planned, she decides to take her anger out on the unsuspecting males of Sweet Valley. Luckily for all of them, Rick Andover [tattooed, 17 year old bad boy drop out] spies Jessica walking home, and picks her up. Turns out he knows exactly who she is [see drop out status that makes this a little less creepy than it would be if he were just some random guy who knew who she was by sight alone] and finagles a date. Jess needs some male attention, so she agrees.
  Check the mini bio given for Rick again, and it'll become obvious that the only way this date is going to end is badly. Sure enough, Rick takes Jessica to Kelly's [local bar, conveniently located not that far from the teen dream hangout, the Dairi Burger] and gets smashed in record time. Seriously, one shot of whiskey and he's slurring his words. Granted, it's implied he had a little something before picking Jess up, but still. ONE SHOT. He also gets a little grabby, so Jess excuses herself and in perfect bad boy form, Rick manages to get himself into a bar fight. The cops are called and Jess gets a ride home via the police. Luckily for her, the cop thinks she's a friend of his niece, Emily Mayer, and assumes she's Elizabeth. [Cuz Liz is so the bar-hopping twin!] He reads her the riot act as he's dropping her off, calling her Elizabeth once more. Jess goes to correct him, but it's too late.
  You see, Caroline Pearce, the biggest gossip in all of Sweet Valley [which says a lot, given that almost all of Jessica's friends are identified as huge gossips as well] just happens to be walking by at that exact moment. She hears the whole thing, complete with the mixed up identity, runs home [three doors down from the Wakefields] and fires up the white princess phone that serves as the easiest way for gossip to spread through the Valley. Take that, Gossip Girl.
  By the next morning, all of SVH knows that good girl Liz has gone to the darkside, courtesy of a trip to Kelly's with bad boy Rick. Possibly fearing that two devious Wakefields is more than one high school can handle, people react by pretty much avoiding her. The boys are divided in two camps. Those who probably think Liz is a good time, though probably one involving a trip to the doctor's before and after, and those who think she's a total skank and should be put in her place. Preferably by never speaking to her again, I guess. This second camp is given a voice in the form of Enid's [Liz's best friend] current crush-turned-boyfriend Ronnie Edwards. The former is lead by rich boy Bruce Patman. But since no one's talking to Liz for fear of the crazy catching, she just thinks the entire school has gone insane.
  Until Enid finally breaks down and tells her that "no matter what, Liz, no matter what..." She spills the rest of the story and at first Liz is confused as to why Caroline would make up such an outrageous story about her. A second later, she realizes that Caroline didn't. She just had one certain fact messed up. So Liz confronts Jessica who in a tizzy over her brother's incredibly poor choice of girlfriends. Namely, the town skank, Betsy Martin. Still, no matter how much this grosses Liz out as well, she sticks to the more important matter. Namely, that her entire school is populated by idiots who believe Liz is the bar crawling twin.
  Because having Jess confess publicly will never happen, and because we've got to make it to page 182, we get another curve ball.
  It seems that we have a feud of epic proportions between the old money Patmans [hey, Bruce!] and new money Fowlers [aloha, Lila!] who for some reason, don't see a thing wrong with destroying the high school football field for their own purposes. Bruce's family wants to restore it to it's former glory as a formal English tea garden. The Fowlers want to build a factory. Now, I should stop to point out one little WTF moment. There are no FolwerS. There is Lila's father, George. Lila's an only child and her parents have been divorced for ages. Seriously, there are two Fowlers in the whole of SV as far as we've been told. I sincerely doubt Lila gives half a damn whether a factory goes up there or not. She'd probably enjoy any influx of money that would come her way, but she might also think it's a bit tacky to have a factory across the street from her school. Who knows? No one ever asked the girl.
  Instead, when news of these insane plans for their football field breaks, the students of SVH turn mob and corner the [mostly] innocent children of insane parents. There's some name calling and foolishly, Jessica opens her mouth and Bruce verbally bitchslaps her for it. It seems Mr. Wakefield has been seen all over town with a hot chick who ain't his wife. The whole town, or at least Bruce's parents, assume he's screwing around, and really, with that in her family closet, Jessica should STFU. Liz is shocked. She thought only the twins and maybe their brother suspected such a thing. For a gossip columnist, she's kinda naive, eh?
  Now, I know what you're thinking. WTF does this have to do with the price of Todd's stupidity and the scheming twins who love him? Well, not a whole lot, but we need some B-story angst. And because in the aftermath of bigmouth Bruce-y bass, Jess comes clean to Todd. Who doesn't believe her, but thinks she's incredibly noble to take the blame for her obviously skantastically confusing twin. So he invites her to the big dance. And they go. And have an absolutely miserable time after a brief dirty dancing fling. You see, Todd spends the rest of the evening staring hopelessly at Liz, who I guess never manages to look over at the same time to see him eying her. But both Liz's and Todd's dates notice. Winston doesn't mind all that much since he's had a thing for Jess for the better part of six years. Jessica, however, is beyond pissed.
  But it gets worse when he drops her off at home and all she gets is this stupid t-shirt a kiss on the cheek. So naturally, having only destroyed one person's rep this book, she decides to confuse Todd's antics with grabby hands Rick. And tells Liz all about it. By this point Jess has kind of figured out that Liz has a thing for Todd, but when given the chance to have Jess step aside, Liz chose not to take it. To keep Liz from getting better from Toddy boy than she did, Jess tells Liz that Todd is slime. And Liz buys it. Mostly. Still, it seems a little weird to her, but why would Jess lie?
  Back to the b story no one cares aboot, Mr. Wakefield and his other woman Marianna West, are working to save the Gladiator's playing field. So Liz gets time off from school, learns all aboot the ways of a real reporter, and yay, Mr. W saves the day! Well, actually Marianna does, which makes Liz feel a little funny that she thinks she could like the woman who is so obviously ruining her parents' marriage. Awkward! Only it turns out that, haha! Marianna really was just working with their father and now she's partner and yay, the perfect Wakefields really are perfect after all!
  Oh, and it turns out that Steven wasn't in love with Betsy, but rather her beautiful non skanky sister, Tricia. But Steve was so ashamed of her family, that he sabotaged his relationship with perfect Tricia, and she called him on it, broke his heart, and left him horribly depressed, something that will stain the poor boy horribly in the future. But for now, it's easily mended by him throwing himself on the mercy of Tricia's kind hearted nature.And again, perfection reigns supreme!
  Which leaves us with but one glaring problem. Todd is considered slime. Liz still wants Todd, and Rick is still pissed that Jess got him in trouble with the law. So Rick carjacks the twins and drives them out to Kelly's for some unknown reason. Maybe to show them that he's not a lightweight and can so totally hold his whiskey. Who knows? But first he drives by the Dairi Burger [told you it's conveniently located] and Todd happens to see them. And notice, in that split second, how freaked out Liz looks considering there's a maniac behind the wheel of their car. So he follows them, punches Rick out, and is rewarded with a kiss from fair Liz.
  The love birds trade notes on their destroyed reps [though, to be fair, Jess only told Liz, and it seems Liz never bothered to put the word out to warn anyone else] and came to one conclusion. Jessica!

  This leads us to our classic bit of revenge. Liz writes the Eyes and Ears column for the Oracle. It's a secret, and if the author is found out, it's school tradition to dunk them in the pool. So Liz dresses like Jess, makes it so Jess dresses like Liz, and while pretending to be Jessica, Liz lets the cat out of the bag. Jessica is dunked, and the newly happy couple is left to laugh and laugh. Gotcha, Jess!



Random tid bits:

  • Liz's tuxedo shirt is later changed to a generic green shirt and her nifty bow tie is changed to a belt in the double edition of Sweet 18, the final SVH [Senior Year] book. The current re-release of the book leaves the tux alone, letting the twins cross dress to their heart's content.

  • Enid and Elizabeth became friends during their sophomore creative writing class, though Liz still thinks Enid a bit mysterious.

  • Which could be because Enid hasn't told Liz that she's been arrested. Ah, good times.

  • As of DL, the Wakefield's pool is a fairly new addition to the house.

  • Ronnie, Enid's obnoxious boytoy, is awfully opinionated for the new guy in school.

  • Marianna's ex, Gareth West, is apparently a big deal heart specialist.

  • Bruce's mother is a Vanderhorn, one of the oldest families in SV. Nobody cares.





Say wha?
  After all, she told herself, if Todd preferred Jessica- and that certainly was how it looked- she would not stand in the way. She'd do the decent thing. Die. -Liz, p34

137 Different Ways to be Cruel:
  You've got to be seven hundred and thirty-seven kinds of idiots not to be excited about associating with the best girls at SVH. What's wrong with you? p35
  He has got to be the most wonderful boy in a hundred and thirty-seven states! p108
  This family has got to be the biggest bummer in five hundred and thirty-seven cities! p111
  I'll never forgive you, not if I live to be a hundred and thirty-seven years- p182.






Inability to discuss her massive crush on Wilkins and crying jags aside, this Liz is probably one of my favorites. She's funny, she's sarcastic, and she's a schemer. But most of all, I love that while we're told how popular Liz is, she seems less so than Jessica. Perhaps it's that Jess is the epitome of the popular girl. She's perfectly lovely to look at, and you want to hear about her exploits, but you know she's a raging bitch. Liz, on the other hand, is the twin you'll find sprawled on the ground collecting her books, wondering how long she has until some jerk kicks her and she has to restart the whole rescue operation. See, the true popular girl wouldn't have this problem, as Liz herself notes. If Jessica's books fell to the floor, her minions would scatter and retrieve them. Liz is without minions at this point, and it's kind of nice.
In general, I have a love/hate relationship with Double Love. Sometimes it's just fantastic enough that I enjoy it like cotton candy. And sometimes I wonder if perhaps I was an exceptionally stupid child and I've been stained forever by this book. But mostly I wish we could get a glimpse of pre-superfab twins. You know there are stories in their past, and the earlier books hinted at them. Later books were content to either ignore what came before or remind you with the sledgehammer of "previously on..."

Double Love non-English covers part 1
Double Love non-eglish covers part2



Re-issue, courtesy of 2008 )


** )

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