the_oracle

Secrets
November 1983


What Jessica wants, Jessica gets- even if someone gets hurt!

Jessica would stop at nothing...


  Beautiful and ruthless, Jessica Wakefield is determined to be chosen queen of the fall dance at Sweet Valley High. If she can win the contest, she's sure to win Bruce Patman, the most sought after boy in school.
  The only person standing in Jessica's way is Enid Rollins. When Jessica discovers the truth about Enid's past, she knows the crown is within her grasp. She doesn't care that Enid is her twin sister Elizabeth's best friend- or that revealing the secret may cost Enid both her reputation and the boy she loves.
  Only Elizabeth can save Enid from Jessica's vicious gossip- but can she stop her scheming twin in time...


  Secrets is a simple little story. Enid Rollins has a couple of secrets she would very much like to keep, you know, secret. Thing is, she makes the mistake of telling them to Liz Wakefield, her best friend. Seems Enid used to have a bit of a teenage rebellion thing going on, two years back after her parents' divorce. Which is a bit disconcerting when you realize that I'm fairly certain Enid is a year or so younger than most of her class, so this would make her 13 at the time of her rebellion. Anyway, drugs, driving around with her older boyfriend George Warren, and oh yeah, damn near killing a small child. This was enough to scare Enid straight, but George was shipped off. Because she's such a good friend, Enid kept in touch with George over the years. Now George is about to graduate [in the fall? Seriously?] and when he's free, he wants to see Enid.
  Who is currently seeing an exceptionally paranoid jealous freak of a guy named Ronnie. Ronnie comes by his oddity fairly honestly, considering his parents are also divorced, and that's because his mother was fooling around. So suddenly everyone is suspect, especially those of the female persuasion. This is a really bad school of thought, Ronnie. If you don't lose it soon, I suggest therapy before you find yourself ancient and alone.
  Anyway, Enid is concerned that if Ronnie finds out, he'll dump her. But the secrets are eating her alive, so she tells Liz, and brings along proof, since the thought of Enid Rollins being a former druggie is a little hard to imagine. Naturally, one of George's letters flutters away, only to be found a most inopportune moment by someone a little morally challenged.
  This brings us to Jessica, who desperately wants to be Fall Queen. Aside from trying to rack up as many crowns outside of actual pageantry, Jessica is sure that Bruce Patman will be elected King, and if she's Queen, they'll be thrown together for the semester at all school events. Of course, if he should happen to fall for her in the meantime, well, that's just what little Jessie wants. What does this have to do with Enid's secrets?
  Weeeeeeeeellllll, Enid is also up for queen, and while normally Jessica wouldn't bat an eyelash at this, she's sure that Ronnie's [he's head of the dance committee] going to try and drum up votes for good old Enid. And that might mean Enid could win. This cannot be! So when Jessica finds George's missing letter in Elizabeth's room, she makes use of the copy machine her father keeps in his home office, and slips a copy in Ronnie's locker.
  Ronnie waits until he and Enid are alone after a particularly painful double date with Liz and Todd, and then gets all grab happy. When Enid asks what the hell is wrong with him, he wonders if maybe Enid's been too busy giving it up to George to save anything for him. Enid flips out, Ronnie flips out, and Enid realizes that if only she and Liz knew the secret and Enid sure as hell didn't tell Ronnie, Liz had to be the one who did.
  And Enid is pissed. PISSED. First, she attempts to give good old Liz the cold shoulder. When Liz presses it, Enid blows up, blaming Liz for blabbing. Liz is shocked, but still somehow believes that Ronnie, whom she has to know deep down is a jackass, will come around. Any attempts to convince Enid that someone else must have told fall on deaf ears and the friendship is nullified due to acts of extreme bitchery.
  So Liz sets about trying to fix it. First she lets Jessica try and fix things, only Jess intentionally screws things up even more. Why? Well, the whole fall queen thing is still up for grabs, but also? Ever since drippy old Enid chose Liz over Jessica, Jess has been holding a grudge. Of course, Jess is also jealous of the amount of time Enid and Liz spend together, and seems to think that with Enid out of the picture, she'll have Liz all to herself. Creepy.
  With all this in mind, it's no wonder Jessica's help makes things worse. Thus Liz is left with only one option. She's got to find out who told Ronnie about the letters. She tries Winston, who's an old friend of George's, but Win tells her that while he may have a big mouth, it's only for show. When it counts, he can be counted on to keep a secret. And she believes him because the class clown should never be mocked while being serious. Ever.
  Woe, Diary, woe. Mom has laid down the law and all Wakefields who want to go to the fall dance must clean their rooms! Woe, listen to Jess complain and wheedle things out of me. Woe. You'd think this would be easier since my room is usually neat freak clean, but I'm still ever so upset over the whole Enid situation. Who could possibly have, hey, what's that peeking out from under my bed? GASP! A letter from George! I doubt Mom would have told Ronnie, which only leaves one other person sneaky enough... JESSICA!
  Yes. But Liz doesn't let Jess know she's on to her bitchy secret. Nope, Liz has another scheme up her sleeve.
  Meanwhile, Enid has finally hunted down Ms. Nora Dalton, the French teacher accused of having an affair with handsome Ken Matthews, but given this is 1983, it's totally just a rumor started by ever so jealous Lila and not true at all, talked things through, and decided she'll go to the dance alone. [Ronnie dumped her, remember? And now he's going with Jessica, who was hoping to go with Bruce, but he has other plans involving a redhead] While painting her nails, the doorbell rings. It can't be Liz, because she would never take five minutes out of her own primping time to come apologize, so maybe it's Ronnie! But no, cuz, remember, he's with Jess. Who could it be?
  Duh. George, the start of all your problems, Enid. Only he's all dressed up and handsome and she's all starstruck. He invites her to the dance [Win filled him in on all the gossip] and she says yes, what with him being hot and all, only, tee hee, she's not wearing shoes. Actually, that bit is cute. With shoes on her feet, Enid and George hit the dance, where they make quite an entrance. Enid is lovely, but lovely is trumped by the unknown eye candy attached at her hip. Fantastic!
  But wait, isn't there supposed to be revenge?
  Jessica wins Fall Queen, but pretends to be surprised. Aw. This is Liz's revenge? Giving Jess exactly what she wants?
  Hardly. As Jess is all aflutter over winning, they announce the king. Winston. Egbert. Jess is not happy, but when she finds out that Winston won because someone [perhaps a certain 5'6" blond with eyes the color of the ocean?] started a rumor that Jess had finally fallen for the clown, she hunts down her twin. Who then proceeds to explain very clearly that if Jessica does not keep her crown, head up to the stage and make Win the happiest guy ever, Liz will tell everyone how Jessica ruined Enid's relationship with Ronnie. And she'll do it in print, too. Jess is horrified because she knows what a grade A bitch she was, so she agrees, but she will totally not be kissing Egbert! Liz hadn't thought of that, but what a great idea... *cackle*



Random tid bits:

• - Jessica tells Ronnie she's allergic to gardenias.


• - Enid and Todd both have little brothers at this point, but will lose them shortly. They won't die, they'll just be relegated to trivia, as both will mysteriously become only children.


• - In Double Love, Jess whines and wants an oval face. In Secrets, she's described as having a lovely oval face. Wow, she really does get what she wants...


• - Jess has been in love with Bruce since freshman year.


• - Lila sings in the school choir and desperately wants the soprano solo.


• - This is the first time the Hershey Bar [Jessica's room] is used.


• - Jessica curls her hair so frequently because it's the one thing she regrets not having been born with.


• - 13/14 year old Enid had braces and long bangs.


• - When Ken finds out that Lila was the one who started the rumor about Ms. Dalton, he refuses to take her to the dance.


• - Lila isn't above snitching some of her father's expensive French wine and then sharing it with her friends.


• - Not that Dana will drink any, she prefers Pepsi.


• - Apparently Double Love must have taken about two months, since that's how long Enid and Ronnie have been dating [and they hadn't started at the beginning of DL, though they were close], and considering the Fall theme, DL must have also started pretty much immediately after school started.

Say wha:
Then, out of the corner of one wet eye, she glimpsed a piece of paper sticking out from under the bed. It looked like a letter. Being naturally curious- and having absolutely zero scruples when it came to reading other people's mail- she snatched it up. p33
Elizabeth hoped it was true, but she had her doubts. Jessica had a talent for proving comforting old cliches all wrong. p67

137 ways to be Cruel:
Easy for you to say. Your room is already so disgustingly neat. It'll take me a hundred and thirty-seven years to clean up mine. p87




Secrets again proves that early SVH had no problem with Jess being a complete bitch to anyone she didn't particularly like, and even those she did. Of course, it also shows that neither twin has a problem manipulating innocent bystanders in their evil plots. Liz sets Winston up for major heartbreak/pain/misery by saddling him with Jessica, since anyone with half a brain knows that while more Jess time will make Win happy, having her be a complete bitch to him won't do him any favors.
However, I love Liz and Enid's little sleepover, complete with ODing on cookies. Cute! When I was younger, I wanted so badly to join them. Time would later point out that Enid and Liz were meant to be a duo or nothing at all, but I didn't know that then. Also, the thought of Dana Larson hanging out at Lila's for anything other than a party is a little odd.

Double Love
October, 1983

Share the continuing story of the Wakefield twins and their friends-
their laughter, heartaches, and dreams.


Will Jessica steal Todd from Elizabeth?

  Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield are identical twins at Sweet Valley High. They're both popular, smart, and gorgeous, but that's where the similarity ends. Elizabeth is friendly, outgoing, and sincere- nothing like her snobbish and conniving twin. Jessica gets what she wants- at school, with friends, and especially with boys.
  This time, Jessica has her sights on Todd Wilkins, the handsome star of the basketball team- the one boy that Elizabeth really likes. Elizabeth doesn't want to lose him, but what Jessica wants, Jessica usually gets... even if it ends up hurting her sister.
  Meet the Wakefield twins, their guys, and the rest of the gang at Sweet Valley High.



  Double Love is fairly simple. You're introduced to the Wakefield twins. There's melodramatic Jessica, who isn't above trashing people's reputations to protect her own, but still manages to be incredibly popular. And then there's quiet, serious Liz who isn't above kissing a boy before the first date or plotting against her more diabolical sister. Both are gorgeous, popular, fantastic, and prone to emotional outbursts. Seriously. Liz bursts into tears no less than three times this book, sometimes for absolutely no reason. Jess also cries at the drop of a hat, but it's usually in order to manipulate someone.
  Got that? Good. Jess has set her sights on the current IT boy of Sweet Valley High, basketball captain and star, Todd Wilkins. Thing is, he seems more interested in talking to Jess so he can then get a hold of her twin, Elizabeth. Considering she's such an expert with guys, Jess figures he just doesn't know what he's missing, so she "helps" him realize the error of his ways. She's constantly caught offering him helpful little tidbits that cast Elizabeth as the flighty, popular, boy magnet twin, while she stays at home and, I dunno, washes her hair for the umpteenth time. The kicker, and proof that maybe Wilkins has taken one hit to the skull too many, is that he never cries bullshit on any of this. One could imagine that Liz is asked out plenty, and goes out fairly often, so it's okay if he believes that bit of the lie. Hormones make you stupid, especially when presented with the very real possibility that the object of your affection isn't at all interested in you.
  However, I remember first reading DL and knowing full well Jessica was full of it. You're pretty much told within seconds of meeting Jessica, that she has made her rounds through much of the male dating pool at SVH. Not in a full blown skanky way, but in that, "Sure we can go out and you can tell me how great I am," way. For Todd to believe anything other than this just blows my mind as much now as it did then. Idiot.
  Naturally, Liz doesn't know this, as she sits at home and dreams about her one true love, Todd Wilkins. She doesn't want much, dear diary, she just wants to be his girlfriend. They don't have to scale the highest mountains, swim the deepest seas, write the most epic of all love poems. No, what she wants is normalcy. She wants it to be normal for the two to eat lunch together and for him to randomly kiss her on the forehead, simply because he can and wants to do so. For they are in LOVE. That's all.
  But she never actually tells this to anyone. Ever. Because she's an idiot as well. She never tells her twin. She doesn't tell her best friend [though Enid has an extra braincell or two to rub together, so she's able to figure it out], and being that this is 1983, she sure as hell doesn't tell Todd she thinks he's keen or whatever. That last one I understand, but given that Jess is such a sneaky sort, you'd think it might be wise to let her in on the crush you've been harboring. Either to keep her away from said crush, or to get her to help you out, seeing as she isn't shy and knows her way around the male of the species well enough to snag a date for her sister. Just a thought.
  So Liz is dying a thousand deaths each time Todd calls to talk to Jess. Or she sees the two of them together. To complicate matters, Todd doesn't realize he's being set up as Jessica's newest conquest. So he still makes googly eyes at the wrong twin, still tries to get Liz alone, possibly so he can ask her to the big Phi Epsilon dance, or possibly just to say, "I love you, you idiot." So Liz is getting these "he likes me!" vibes and Jess doesn't know that Liz actually has any interest in Todd, so she sees no real problem in continuing to help Todd fall for the right Wakefield twin.
  This can only go on so long before something goes wrong and true love conquers all. So fate intervenes and decrees, "This shall not be a fifty page novel! We must have MORE conflict!"

  Another thing you should know. Jessica is not accustomed to being turned down. As far as she's concerned, she's the hottest thing around, and anyone who doesn't agree can go to hell. So when it becomes painfully clear that Todd isn't falling for her as planned, she decides to take her anger out on the unsuspecting males of Sweet Valley. Luckily for all of them, Rick Andover [tattooed, 17 year old bad boy drop out] spies Jessica walking home, and picks her up. Turns out he knows exactly who she is [see drop out status that makes this a little less creepy than it would be if he were just some random guy who knew who she was by sight alone] and finagles a date. Jess needs some male attention, so she agrees.
  Check the mini bio given for Rick again, and it'll become obvious that the only way this date is going to end is badly. Sure enough, Rick takes Jessica to Kelly's [local bar, conveniently located not that far from the teen dream hangout, the Dairi Burger] and gets smashed in record time. Seriously, one shot of whiskey and he's slurring his words. Granted, it's implied he had a little something before picking Jess up, but still. ONE SHOT. He also gets a little grabby, so Jess excuses herself and in perfect bad boy form, Rick manages to get himself into a bar fight. The cops are called and Jess gets a ride home via the police. Luckily for her, the cop thinks she's a friend of his niece, Emily Mayer, and assumes she's Elizabeth. [Cuz Liz is so the bar-hopping twin!] He reads her the riot act as he's dropping her off, calling her Elizabeth once more. Jess goes to correct him, but it's too late.
  You see, Caroline Pearce, the biggest gossip in all of Sweet Valley [which says a lot, given that almost all of Jessica's friends are identified as huge gossips as well] just happens to be walking by at that exact moment. She hears the whole thing, complete with the mixed up identity, runs home [three doors down from the Wakefields] and fires up the white princess phone that serves as the easiest way for gossip to spread through the Valley. Take that, Gossip Girl.
  By the next morning, all of SVH knows that good girl Liz has gone to the darkside, courtesy of a trip to Kelly's with bad boy Rick. Possibly fearing that two devious Wakefields is more than one high school can handle, people react by pretty much avoiding her. The boys are divided in two camps. Those who probably think Liz is a good time, though probably one involving a trip to the doctor's before and after, and those who think she's a total skank and should be put in her place. Preferably by never speaking to her again, I guess. This second camp is given a voice in the form of Enid's [Liz's best friend] current crush-turned-boyfriend Ronnie Edwards. The former is lead by rich boy Bruce Patman. But since no one's talking to Liz for fear of the crazy catching, she just thinks the entire school has gone insane.
  Until Enid finally breaks down and tells her that "no matter what, Liz, no matter what..." She spills the rest of the story and at first Liz is confused as to why Caroline would make up such an outrageous story about her. A second later, she realizes that Caroline didn't. She just had one certain fact messed up. So Liz confronts Jessica who in a tizzy over her brother's incredibly poor choice of girlfriends. Namely, the town skank, Betsy Martin. Still, no matter how much this grosses Liz out as well, she sticks to the more important matter. Namely, that her entire school is populated by idiots who believe Liz is the bar crawling twin.
  Because having Jess confess publicly will never happen, and because we've got to make it to page 182, we get another curve ball.
  It seems that we have a feud of epic proportions between the old money Patmans [hey, Bruce!] and new money Fowlers [aloha, Lila!] who for some reason, don't see a thing wrong with destroying the high school football field for their own purposes. Bruce's family wants to restore it to it's former glory as a formal English tea garden. The Fowlers want to build a factory. Now, I should stop to point out one little WTF moment. There are no FolwerS. There is Lila's father, George. Lila's an only child and her parents have been divorced for ages. Seriously, there are two Fowlers in the whole of SV as far as we've been told. I sincerely doubt Lila gives half a damn whether a factory goes up there or not. She'd probably enjoy any influx of money that would come her way, but she might also think it's a bit tacky to have a factory across the street from her school. Who knows? No one ever asked the girl.
  Instead, when news of these insane plans for their football field breaks, the students of SVH turn mob and corner the [mostly] innocent children of insane parents. There's some name calling and foolishly, Jessica opens her mouth and Bruce verbally bitchslaps her for it. It seems Mr. Wakefield has been seen all over town with a hot chick who ain't his wife. The whole town, or at least Bruce's parents, assume he's screwing around, and really, with that in her family closet, Jessica should STFU. Liz is shocked. She thought only the twins and maybe their brother suspected such a thing. For a gossip columnist, she's kinda naive, eh?
  Now, I know what you're thinking. WTF does this have to do with the price of Todd's stupidity and the scheming twins who love him? Well, not a whole lot, but we need some B-story angst. And because in the aftermath of bigmouth Bruce-y bass, Jess comes clean to Todd. Who doesn't believe her, but thinks she's incredibly noble to take the blame for her obviously skantastically confusing twin. So he invites her to the big dance. And they go. And have an absolutely miserable time after a brief dirty dancing fling. You see, Todd spends the rest of the evening staring hopelessly at Liz, who I guess never manages to look over at the same time to see him eying her. But both Liz's and Todd's dates notice. Winston doesn't mind all that much since he's had a thing for Jess for the better part of six years. Jessica, however, is beyond pissed.
  But it gets worse when he drops her off at home and all she gets is this stupid t-shirt a kiss on the cheek. So naturally, having only destroyed one person's rep this book, she decides to confuse Todd's antics with grabby hands Rick. And tells Liz all about it. By this point Jess has kind of figured out that Liz has a thing for Todd, but when given the chance to have Jess step aside, Liz chose not to take it. To keep Liz from getting better from Toddy boy than she did, Jess tells Liz that Todd is slime. And Liz buys it. Mostly. Still, it seems a little weird to her, but why would Jess lie?
  Back to the b story no one cares aboot, Mr. Wakefield and his other woman Marianna West, are working to save the Gladiator's playing field. So Liz gets time off from school, learns all aboot the ways of a real reporter, and yay, Mr. W saves the day! Well, actually Marianna does, which makes Liz feel a little funny that she thinks she could like the woman who is so obviously ruining her parents' marriage. Awkward! Only it turns out that, haha! Marianna really was just working with their father and now she's partner and yay, the perfect Wakefields really are perfect after all!
  Oh, and it turns out that Steven wasn't in love with Betsy, but rather her beautiful non skanky sister, Tricia. But Steve was so ashamed of her family, that he sabotaged his relationship with perfect Tricia, and she called him on it, broke his heart, and left him horribly depressed, something that will stain the poor boy horribly in the future. But for now, it's easily mended by him throwing himself on the mercy of Tricia's kind hearted nature.And again, perfection reigns supreme!
  Which leaves us with but one glaring problem. Todd is considered slime. Liz still wants Todd, and Rick is still pissed that Jess got him in trouble with the law. So Rick carjacks the twins and drives them out to Kelly's for some unknown reason. Maybe to show them that he's not a lightweight and can so totally hold his whiskey. Who knows? But first he drives by the Dairi Burger [told you it's conveniently located] and Todd happens to see them. And notice, in that split second, how freaked out Liz looks considering there's a maniac behind the wheel of their car. So he follows them, punches Rick out, and is rewarded with a kiss from fair Liz.
  The love birds trade notes on their destroyed reps [though, to be fair, Jess only told Liz, and it seems Liz never bothered to put the word out to warn anyone else] and came to one conclusion. Jessica!

  This leads us to our classic bit of revenge. Liz writes the Eyes and Ears column for the Oracle. It's a secret, and if the author is found out, it's school tradition to dunk them in the pool. So Liz dresses like Jess, makes it so Jess dresses like Liz, and while pretending to be Jessica, Liz lets the cat out of the bag. Jessica is dunked, and the newly happy couple is left to laugh and laugh. Gotcha, Jess!



Random tid bits:

• Liz's tuxedo shirt is later changed to a generic green shirt and her nifty bow tie is changed to a belt in the double edition of Sweet 18, the final SVH [Senior Year] book. The current re-release of the book leaves the tux alone, letting the twins cross dress to their heart's content.


• Enid and Elizabeth became friends during their sophomore creative writing class, though Liz still thinks Enid a bit mysterious.


• Which could be because Enid hasn't told Liz that she's been arrested. Ah, good times.


• As of DL, the Wakefield's pool is a fairly new addition to the house.


• Ronnie, Enid's obnoxious boytoy, is awfully opinionated for the new guy in school.


• Marianna's ex, Gareth West, is apparently a big deal heart specialist.


• Bruce's mother is a Vanderhorn, one of the oldest families in SV. Nobody cares.

Say wha?
  After all, she told herself, if Todd preferred Jessica- and that certainly was how it looked- she would not stand in the way. She'd do the decent thing. Die. -Liz, p34

137 Different Ways to be Cruel:
  You've got to be seven hundred and thirty-seven kinds of idiots not to be excited about associating with the best girls at SVH. What's wrong with you? p35
  He has got to be the most wonderful boy in a hundred and thirty-seven states! p108
  This family has got to be the biggest bummer in five hundred and thirty-seven cities! p111
  I'll never forgive you, not if I live to be a hundred and thirty-seven years- p182.






Inability to discuss her massive crush on Wilkins and crying jags aside, this Liz is probably one of my favorites. She's funny, she's sarcastic, and she's a schemer. But most of all, I love that while we're told how popular Liz is, she seems less so than Jessica. Perhaps it's that Jess is the epitome of the popular girl. She's perfectly lovely to look at, and you want to hear about her exploits, but you know she's a raging bitch. Liz, on the other hand, is the twin you'll find sprawled on the ground collecting her books, wondering how long she has until some jerk kicks her and she has to restart the whole rescue operation. See, the true popular girl wouldn't have this problem, as Liz herself notes. If Jessica's books fell to the floor, her minions would scatter and retrieve them. Liz is without minions at this point, and it's kind of nice.
In general, I have a love/hate relationship with Double Love. Sometimes it's just fantastic enough that I enjoy it like cotton candy. And sometimes I wonder if perhaps I was an exceptionally stupid child and I've been stained forever by this book. But mostly I wish we could get a glimpse of pre-superfab twins. You know there are stories in their past, and the earlier books hinted at them. Later books were content to either ignore what came before or remind you with the sledgehammer of "previously on..."






( Re-issue, courtesy of 2008 )


( ** )