I'm nobody, how about you?

Alone in the Crowd
May 1986

Can Elizabeth help Lynne overcome her shyness?

  Secret Song...

    Lynne Henry is tall, awkward, and painfully shy. the one bright spot in her life is her songwriting. In her room, playing her guitar, Lynne forgets how lonely she is and becomes someone special.
    When The Droids, Sweet Valley High's most popular rock band, announce a songwriting contest, Lynne enters it. But she is so insecure about her talent that she submits her song anonymously.
    As soon as they hear Lynne's song, The Droids know they've got a winner. Guy Chesney, the attractive lead guitarist for the band, vows to find the songwriter, no matter how long it takes.
    Only Elizabeth Wakefield knows Lynne's secret. Can she persuade Lynne to come out into the open and share her talent, or is Lynne destined to remain unnoticed?

  Oh, Lynne Henry. Tall, skinny, all angles and awkwardness, and the ugliest glasses anyone has ever seen, Lynne skulks around SVH thinking she's invisible. Nope, people notice, recoil in horror from hair that makes Olivia's look tame and the baggy clothes straight outta Robin Wilson's transitioning from fat girl to skinny bitch phase, and the old man specs, not to mention the perma-scowl. Lynne is so far down the social ladder that Enid and Winston don't even know her name. Winston's almost sure it's Sherry, and Enid even has two classes with the girl, but blanks on the name.
  How do we know this? Because after Jessica's newest Brilliant Idea [careful, Jess, Kristy doesn't share well...] is announced, the topic of conversation swings towards Lynne as she walks by. But instead of going over and talking to the girl that Liz is convinced is just painfully lonely and shy, they just talk about her. I expect that from Lila and Winston, but Enid and Liz are usually the patron saints of our monthly losers, always willing to sit with the painfully uncool and transform them, usually all for the low-low price of a secret.
  Instead their voices trail off and we transition to Lynne herself. Lynne hates lunch time because she has no friends. She has no one to sit with at lunch and always feels like an outcast. Oh, sweetie... it's the glasses. Among other things. But I can totally relate now, although when I first read this, I remembered being so confused as to how it was possible to not know anyone well enough to at least sit at their table. I was nine and had a group of friends with our own table, so you'll have to excuse my stupidity.
  Anyway, Lynne. Lynne is a Nobody at SVH, and she knows it. She's sure it has everything to do with her being unpretty [ha! got the song/video in your head, didn't I?] and she tries to convince herself that it'll be okay. It's been like that for years, actually. Who in their right mind is sure that high school will be any less hellish than middle school? Any less vain?
  Shit, that was me, too. Crap. Thing is, the way Lynne goes on and on about how ugly she is, you don't immediately think she's plain, maybe a little quirky looking. You think she's got a nose like a beak, a hunchback, and, I dunno, teeth that only the Brits could love. But when she describes herself, it's all plain Jane, not freak of the week. She's been told she takes after her father, except for her mother's beautiful golden flecked green eyes, which are hidden behind those glasses of DOOM. Unless you've got the world's prettiest father [Shiloh] being told you take after him in any physical sort of way is usually a bit insulting if you're a girl. So I feel for the girl, I do. Sort of. Except that whole tall and skinny thing. Bitch.
  By now you should realize Lynne's got some hang ups, and in case you hadn't, they'll be repeated throughout the book. Compounding all this is the little fact of Jade Henry [Lynne's mother] being GORGEOUS and the manager of a fancy spa called the Silver Door. So while Jade deals in beauty all day, poor Lynne has got to be a disappointment. Every time Jade tries to make her daughter over, Lynne snaps at her mother, sure that her mother would really prefer another daughter.
  Yeah, one who didn't snap her head off every time she invited her down to the spa for a beauty session.
  The only light in Lynne's life is her music. Lynne writes songs, hears them at random times, and plays the guitar. Lynne's good, really good, but because she's so sure that no one would think her pretty enough, she's pretty much written off the idea of being in a band or being a "performer".
  Why, oh why does any of this matter? Don't we have something vapid to counteract all this "I'm ugly, ma, deal with it!" angst?

  Sure do. Remember Jessica's Brilliant Idea?
  It's classic. To raise money for new cheerleader uniforms, Jess proposes that the cheerleaders hijack the gym and stage a Rock Around the Clock rocking chair relay.
  She says this with a straight face.
  Honest and true.
  Everyone else kinda stares at her like this is the dumbest thing they've ever heard, and by now they've heard quite a bit...
  Jess pouts and Liz declares the idea marvelous.
  Liz is the smart one and right about now I'm thinking she should really give that title to someone else. Like Cara, or Lila, both of whom obviously think this is the crappiest idea EVER.
  With Liz on board, everyone else reluctantly chills with the mockery and Jess skips off to run her idea by the powers that be.
  They give it an a-okay and to drum up more interest in the whole thing, Jess recruits the Droids to play at their relay party. The Droids agree, and announce that they're having a song writing contest. As good as their stuff is, as good as their skills are, what they really, really need is a signature song. What they need is a one-hit wonder sort of song.
  The contest is open to the students of SVH, but you've only got a week, so get cracking!

  Lynne decides she'll enter the contest, but she'll do so anonymously, so that if she falls flat on her face, no one will know. Plus she's sure that no one would want such an ugly singer, anyway.
  I should mention that Lynne has a big thing for Guy Chesney, the keyboardist for the Droids. How punk rock. Anyway, Guy's recently moved to Lynne's neighborhood and they run into one another while walking to and from school, and start to talking. Guy is probably the only person Lynne talks to, ever. So naturally she falls for him. To be fair, Guy sounds like a sweetie with a stupid name. He's nice to Lynne even at her dorkiest and brings out the best in her, so of course she's going to fall for him. Thing is, Lynne's got ISSUES.
  When they discuss female vocalists, Guy mentions he likes Linda Ronstadt. He never says one thing about liking her for being beautiful, but Lynne is positive that her looks play a big part in her allure for Guy. That's a bit stupid, Lynne. If you had a friend, they'd tell you that, but since you don't, I have to spend the entire rest of the book mentally slapping you each time you harp on being sure Guy only cares about Linda's looks. Bah!
  Outside Looking In is entered and everyone falls in love with the song. It's haunting, it's beautiful, it's like nothing the Droids have ever played, and they try and play if off like it's deep. Sure, okay, compared to love songs about Todd & Liz, it is. Guy really flips for the vocals though. He's in love with the voice, the emotion, the person who wrote this song that he's sure is for him.
  Which we totally know was.

    The best thing in this whole book is how everyone is sure that Liz knows who Annon is. Jessica demands that Liz tell her, and pretty much doesn't believe her twin when she laughs and protests knowing any such thing. Right, Lizzie. Riiiiiight. Then Guy asks if Liz could find out, and Liz says she'll try, but she's got nothing to go on
  While looking for a Billie Holiday album, Liz manages to overhear Lynne giving a guitar lesson. Lynne's voice is so unique, so good, that she immediately recognizes it. Lynne begs Liz not to tell anyone, that Guy is expecting Linda levels of hotness, and she couldn't possibly let him down like that. Mmm....hmmm. Liz agrees, but points out that Lynne has a gorgeous voice and little kids aren't exactly screaming in horror.
  Back at casa de Lynne, Lynne decides that enough is enough. She may not be Wakefield hot, but there's no point in having given up completely. So she plays dress up with the clothes her mother's been buying her, makeup, hair... girl even plucks her own eyebrows. Ouch! Her mom comes home in the midst of dress up and Lynne is horrified. Jade tells her she looks beautiful and that she's so happy Lynne seems to care a little about herself. Much joy and happiness. Lynne gets a makeover and Jade tells her that she was beautiful before, but it's more than that. That whole you should be happy, you have talents, you are fantastic and strong and as badly as I'm retelling it, it's actually very good, and kind of unusual for a SV novel.

    At Jessica's relay, the kids are all dressed up for a sock hop. The boys are extra greasy in the hair department, and there are poodle skirts floating around. Awesome. We don't really spend a lot of time here because Guy pulls Liz aside and admits he's in love with the mystery woman, and Liz lets it slip [on purpose, too] that she knows who the mystery woman is, but that Mystery doesn't want to be found out. Guy sulks and begs for hints and Liz mentions Linda and Guy perks up, realizes who it is, and scampers off. Liz is confused.
  On the way to school, Glammed up Lynne and Guy chat and Guy mentions that he had a friend of his father's do up a picture of the mystery person, so yeah, they've found a winner. Tis Lynne's song, but Guy doesn't let on that he knows she's the mystery. Lynne is upset, thinking that someone else is getting credit for HER song, but can't figure out how to untangle this mess she's created. She runs into Liz who is dragged away by Guy before she can spill the beans, although she does manage to ask how Guy knew. Lynne is confused but lunch time rolls around really quick, and Lynne is surrounded by people congratulating her on her big win. Lynne sings her song, the world is thrilled, and the two new love birds are lovey-dovey.
  Our last chapter cements the lovey dovey stuff and we're given the lead up for the next book. Liz arrives late to the beach, dressed for a day at the Oracle, and waving around a letter. Her old best friend from middle school, Amy Sutton, is moving back to the Valley, and into Helen Bradley's house. Helen's family is moving away, FYI. Jessica only cares because she'll just DIE if they have to go through another cheerleading tryout like their last one. With Annie. Damned suicidal drama queen.
  Amy. Rightio. Liz is thrilled, no one else really cares, and Enid is worried. Will Liz still love her when super!fab Amy shows up?

  The end.

Trivial:

• Winston has a history test right after lunch. He's in Mr. Fellows' class.


• This go round, the differences between the twins is illustrated by comparing their eyes to the Pacific. Liz is a calm, cool day, and Jessica is stormy and dangerous.


• The cheerleaders need new uniforms. Winston asks why they don't just hit up the bank of Li Fowler, and Li plays it off as her father would want them to earn the money themselves. Personally, I think she's a bit insulted.


• Winston thinks Lynne's name is Sherry.


• Enid has two classes with Lynne and likens her to a ghost.


• Keith Webster, a forward on the basketball team who is, naturally, hot, calls out to Lynne, but he means Lynne Jacobs, a sophomore with shiny black hair, and a glowing complexion.


• Lynne tries to make some deep thought connect with a children's game, and being the odd man out. That game, honey-baby-sweetie-luv? Musical effing chairs.


• Jade Henry: slender, graceful, silky black hair, manager of the Silver Door, an elegant health club in a neighboring town.


• Lynne has Jade's almond shaped, gold flecked green eyes.


• Max Henry died when Lynne was three. He worked for an insurance company as he was too afraid to persue his love of music, particularly the saxophone.


• Guy Chesney moved to Lynne's neighborhood sometime in the last few months. By now, I've given up trying to figure out whether we've cycled through another year, or are still on the first junior year. Oi.


• Guy likes Linda Ronstadt.


• Awkward sentence much? The Henrys' tidy front room was filled with amaryllis, her mother's favorite, amaryllis.


• Is it wrong that when reading that, my first thought was of Amaryllis, the actress from SVH [the show]? After wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me, that is.


• Guy's mother wants him to be a doctor like his older brother.


• Apparently there's a junior year softball game, sponsored every year by Mr. Collins and Mr. Jaworski at Secca Lake. Liz plays first base.


• Rock Around the Clock Relay: 8PM-11AM, Saturday night. Be there or... don't.


• Max drives a silver van.


• Guy wants to go to "a music conservatory" possibly Julliard.


• Enid & Liz love Billie Holiday.


• The new uniforms are a little white skirt, and a "sweet short sleeved top." Red, I presume, since the colors are red & white.


• Jess managed to rack up at least $25 an hour in pledges. Three hours per cheerleader.


• Lila's cousin Christopher is 17 and from Kennebunk, Maine. He's also not big on giving an exact date for his impeding arrival. Cara doesn't spill the beans in front of Helen Bradley, as Helen is upset enough about moving to L.A., and Cara didn't want to make her feel worse about probably missing Christopher's appearance. So sad, too bad.


• Since when is Enid's hair "smooth" and brown without a reddish tint? What have you done with the real Enid, ghostwriter of the week?


• The Bradleys are moving to their dream house in L.A.


• Enid's crush of the week is Brent Stein, a senior, who is tall with serious gray eyes, a satiric sense of humor, and a good dancer.


• Charlie Porter is a police sketch artist. Guy describes Lynne to him and has Charlie sketch her for the flyers announcing "On The Outside Looking In" winning the song writing competition.


• Lisa Reed is a sophomore, black, with curly short hair, and a stunning figure. However, each time I see her name, I think of someone else entirely. That Lisa would never have made it into PBA.


• Also, if Liz and Jess didn't make it to PBA until they were juniors, how exactly did Jess get over Lisa, a sophomore, making it in before she did, or at least, while she's younger than Jess? Where was the driving Lisa to suicide story?


• For some reason Helen is spelled 'Hellen' at the start of a paragraph, and at the end of that same paragraph, she's back to being Helen. Quality control is slipping severely...


• Would anyone actually say, "You're pigging the best part of the beach"? Wouldn't it be "hogging"? *confused*


• Liz went to Connecticut once to visit Amy after Ames moved away.


• OMG! Amy's moving back and Enid is not so thrilled. Awesome.


• And though it's never mentioned, way back when, in book six, to be exact, Guy had a thing for Liz. Funny that when she's actually single, he doesn't try and win her over, eh?

Quotes:
  With a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye, Lynne Henry was actually almost pretty! - Liz, you are one condescending bitch. I owe you one kneecap wipeout for that. p41

  "But what about the squad? Helen, we're counting on you! You can't drop out of cheerleading after everything we've been through together!"
  "Jessica," Cara pointed out, "what's she supposed to do? Commute from Los Angeles? Be reasonable!" - Oh, Cara, I don't think Jessica knows this "reasonable" of which you speak. p57

  She was thinking that she was the one who had to suffer most when they had auditioned Annie Whitman, but she didn't dare mention it, not with Annie right in the room. The poor girl had tried to commit suicide when she hadn't made the squad. Everyone had gone almost crazy with fear and worry. Finally they expanded the squad and let her on. The last thing Jessica wanted was to go through something like that again. - I lack the words. Truly. p58


  I could try and lie, say I didn't love this book, and that I don't at least like it now. But what's the point? Makeover books come complete with their mental montage from various makeovers on TV and in movies, and it's practically one of the SV laws that you either find the whole thing painfully stupid or cheese-a-riffic. Guess where Lynne's makeover lands? I think it's even better because she starts it herself, and that despite the cover, Liz plays very little part in the whole thing. Her exact role is to find out the mystery singer's ID and then be baffled as she inadvertently gives the secret away. That's it. Though just once I want her to give up the wrong secret and have some girl go Southern style crazy on her. I guess I have to wait for SVU, eh?
  Guy still possesses one of the worst names in the Valley, so the moment Lynne says, "Oh, Guy" in what I imagine to be a very breathy, dreamy voice, I crack up. Same as I did the first time I read it.
  Now, I'm not sure I can forgive the cover. Liz looks so annoying, and you just know she's either just said, or is about to say, "Come on, it's not that bad. You've got such a pretty face..." Although, in Lynne's case, it's her eyes. Either way, don't you just want to smack her?
  And by smack, I mean punch.
  Don't lie.
  Odd that Guy, who's been the keyboardist for The Droids for most [if not the entire] series thus far, is labeled the lead guitarist and also offers to play backup guitar for Lynne when she sings. Which I just typed "when she sins"... something else entirely, I imagine. Anyway, so many little things got bungled with this poor book.

I'm nobody, how about you?

Alone in the Crowd
May 1986

Can Elizabeth help Lynne overcome her shyness?

  Secret Song...

    Lynne Henry is tall, awkward, and painfully shy. the one bright spot in her life is her songwriting. In her room, playing her guitar, Lynne forgets how lonely she is and becomes someone special.
    When The Droids, Sweet Valley High's most popular rock band, announce a songwriting contest, Lynne enters it. But she is so insecure about her talent that she submits her song anonymously.
    As soon as they hear Lynne's song, The Droids know they've got a winner. Guy Chesney, the attractive lead guitarist for the band, vows to find the songwriter, no matter how long it takes.
    Only Elizabeth Wakefield knows Lynne's secret. Can she persuade Lynne to come out into the open and share her talent, or is Lynne destined to remain unnoticed?

  Oh, Lynne Henry. Tall, skinny, all angles and awkwardness, and the ugliest glasses anyone has ever seen, Lynne skulks around SVH thinking she's invisible. Nope, people notice, recoil in horror from hair that makes Olivia's look tame and the baggy clothes straight outta Robin Wilson's transitioning from fat girl to skinny bitch phase, and the old man specs, not to mention the perma-scowl. Lynne is so far down the social ladder that Enid and Winston don't even know her name. Winston's almost sure it's Sherry, and Enid even has two classes with the girl, but blanks on the name.
  How do we know this? Because after Jessica's newest Brilliant Idea [careful, Jess, Kristy doesn't share well...] is announced, the topic of conversation swings towards Lynne as she walks by. But instead of going over and talking to the girl that Liz is convinced is just painfully lonely and shy, they just talk about her. I expect that from Lila and Winston, but Enid and Liz are usually the patron saints of our monthly losers, always willing to sit with the painfully uncool and transform them, usually all for the low-low price of a secret.
  Instead their voices trail off and we transition to Lynne herself. Lynne hates lunch time because she has no friends. She has no one to sit with at lunch and always feels like an outcast. Oh, sweetie... it's the glasses. Among other things. But I can totally relate now, although when I first read this, I remembered being so confused as to how it was possible to not know anyone well enough to at least sit at their table. I was nine and had a group of friends with our own table, so you'll have to excuse my stupidity.
  Anyway, Lynne. Lynne is a Nobody at SVH, and she knows it. She's sure it has everything to do with her being unpretty [ha! got the song/video in your head, didn't I?] and she tries to convince herself that it'll be okay. It's been like that for years, actually. Who in their right mind is sure that high school will be any less hellish than middle school? Any less vain?
  Shit, that was me, too. Crap. Thing is, the way Lynne goes on and on about how ugly she is, you don't immediately think she's plain, maybe a little quirky looking. You think she's got a nose like a beak, a hunchback, and, I dunno, teeth that only the Brits could love. But when she describes herself, it's all plain Jane, not freak of the week. She's been told she takes after her father, except for her mother's beautiful golden flecked green eyes, which are hidden behind those glasses of DOOM. Unless you've got the world's prettiest father [Shiloh] being told you take after him in any physical sort of way is usually a bit insulting if you're a girl. So I feel for the girl, I do. Sort of. Except that whole tall and skinny thing. Bitch.
  By now you should realize Lynne's got some hang ups, and in case you hadn't, they'll be repeated throughout the book. Compounding all this is the little fact of Jade Henry [Lynne's mother] being GORGEOUS and the manager of a fancy spa called the Silver Door. So while Jade deals in beauty all day, poor Lynne has got to be a disappointment. Every time Jade tries to make her daughter over, Lynne snaps at her mother, sure that her mother would really prefer another daughter.
  Yeah, one who didn't snap her head off every time she invited her down to the spa for a beauty session.
  The only light in Lynne's life is her music. Lynne writes songs, hears them at random times, and plays the guitar. Lynne's good, really good, but because she's so sure that no one would think her pretty enough, she's pretty much written off the idea of being in a band or being a "performer".
  Why, oh why does any of this matter? Don't we have something vapid to counteract all this "I'm ugly, ma, deal with it!" angst?

  Sure do. Remember Jessica's Brilliant Idea?
  It's classic. To raise money for new cheerleader uniforms, Jess proposes that the cheerleaders hijack the gym and stage a Rock Around the Clock rocking chair relay.
  She says this with a straight face.
  Honest and true.
  Everyone else kinda stares at her like this is the dumbest thing they've ever heard, and by now they've heard quite a bit...
  Jess pouts and Liz declares the idea marvelous.
  Liz is the smart one and right about now I'm thinking she should really give that title to someone else. Like Cara, or Lila, both of whom obviously think this is the crappiest idea EVER.
  With Liz on board, everyone else reluctantly chills with the mockery and Jess skips off to run her idea by the powers that be.
  They give it an a-okay and to drum up more interest in the whole thing, Jess recruits the Droids to play at their relay party. The Droids agree, and announce that they're having a song writing contest. As good as their stuff is, as good as their skills are, what they really, really need is a signature song. What they need is a one-hit wonder sort of song.
  The contest is open to the students of SVH, but you've only got a week, so get cracking!

  Lynne decides she'll enter the contest, but she'll do so anonymously, so that if she falls flat on her face, no one will know. Plus she's sure that no one would want such an ugly singer, anyway.
  I should mention that Lynne has a big thing for Guy Chesney, the keyboardist for the Droids. How punk rock. Anyway, Guy's recently moved to Lynne's neighborhood and they run into one another while walking to and from school, and start to talking. Guy is probably the only person Lynne talks to, ever. So naturally she falls for him. To be fair, Guy sounds like a sweetie with a stupid name. He's nice to Lynne even at her dorkiest and brings out the best in her, so of course she's going to fall for him. Thing is, Lynne's got ISSUES.
  When they discuss female vocalists, Guy mentions he likes Linda Ronstadt. He never says one thing about liking her for being beautiful, but Lynne is positive that her looks play a big part in her allure for Guy. That's a bit stupid, Lynne. If you had a friend, they'd tell you that, but since you don't, I have to spend the entire rest of the book mentally slapping you each time you harp on being sure Guy only cares about Linda's looks. Bah!
  Outside Looking In is entered and everyone falls in love with the song. It's haunting, it's beautiful, it's like nothing the Droids have ever played, and they try and play if off like it's deep. Sure, okay, compared to love songs about Todd & Liz, it is. Guy really flips for the vocals though. He's in love with the voice, the emotion, the person who wrote this song that he's sure is for him.
  Which we totally know was.

    The best thing in this whole book is how everyone is sure that Liz knows who Annon is. Jessica demands that Liz tell her, and pretty much doesn't believe her twin when she laughs and protests knowing any such thing. Right, Lizzie. Riiiiiight. Then Guy asks if Liz could find out, and Liz says she'll try, but she's got nothing to go on
  While looking for a Billie Holiday album, Liz manages to overhear Lynne giving a guitar lesson. Lynne's voice is so unique, so good, that she immediately recognizes it. Lynne begs Liz not to tell anyone, that Guy is expecting Linda levels of hotness, and she couldn't possibly let him down like that. Mmm....hmmm. Liz agrees, but points out that Lynne has a gorgeous voice and little kids aren't exactly screaming in horror.
  Back at casa de Lynne, Lynne decides that enough is enough. She may not be Wakefield hot, but there's no point in having given up completely. So she plays dress up with the clothes her mother's been buying her, makeup, hair... girl even plucks her own eyebrows. Ouch! Her mom comes home in the midst of dress up and Lynne is horrified. Jade tells her she looks beautiful and that she's so happy Lynne seems to care a little about herself. Much joy and happiness. Lynne gets a makeover and Jade tells her that she was beautiful before, but it's more than that. That whole you should be happy, you have talents, you are fantastic and strong and as badly as I'm retelling it, it's actually very good, and kind of unusual for a SV novel.

    At Jessica's relay, the kids are all dressed up for a sock hop. The boys are extra greasy in the hair department, and there are poodle skirts floating around. Awesome. We don't really spend a lot of time here because Guy pulls Liz aside and admits he's in love with the mystery woman, and Liz lets it slip [on purpose, too] that she knows who the mystery woman is, but that Mystery doesn't want to be found out. Guy sulks and begs for hints and Liz mentions Linda and Guy perks up, realizes who it is, and scampers off. Liz is confused.
  On the way to school, Glammed up Lynne and Guy chat and Guy mentions that he had a friend of his father's do up a picture of the mystery person, so yeah, they've found a winner. Tis Lynne's song, but Guy doesn't let on that he knows she's the mystery. Lynne is upset, thinking that someone else is getting credit for HER song, but can't figure out how to untangle this mess she's created. She runs into Liz who is dragged away by Guy before she can spill the beans, although she does manage to ask how Guy knew. Lynne is confused but lunch time rolls around really quick, and Lynne is surrounded by people congratulating her on her big win. Lynne sings her song, the world is thrilled, and the two new love birds are lovey-dovey.
  Our last chapter cements the lovey dovey stuff and we're given the lead up for the next book. Liz arrives late to the beach, dressed for a day at the Oracle, and waving around a letter. Her old best friend from middle school, Amy Sutton, is moving back to the Valley, and into Helen Bradley's house. Helen's family is moving away, FYI. Jessica only cares because she'll just DIE if they have to go through another cheerleading tryout like their last one. With Annie. Damned suicidal drama queen.
  Amy. Rightio. Liz is thrilled, no one else really cares, and Enid is worried. Will Liz still love her when super!fab Amy shows up?

  The end.

Trivial:

• Winston has a history test right after lunch. He's in Mr. Fellows' class.


• This go round, the differences between the twins is illustrated by comparing their eyes to the Pacific. Liz is a calm, cool day, and Jessica is stormy and dangerous.


• The cheerleaders need new uniforms. Winston asks why they don't just hit up the bank of Li Fowler, and Li plays it off as her father would want them to earn the money themselves. Personally, I think she's a bit insulted.


• Winston thinks Lynne's name is Sherry.


• Enid has two classes with Lynne and likens her to a ghost.


• Keith Webster, a forward on the basketball team who is, naturally, hot, calls out to Lynne, but he means Lynne Jacobs, a sophomore with shiny black hair, and a glowing complexion.


• Lynne tries to make some deep thought connect with a children's game, and being the odd man out. That game, honey-baby-sweetie-luv? Musical effing chairs.


• Jade Henry: slender, graceful, silky black hair, manager of the Silver Door, an elegant health club in a neighboring town.


• Lynne has Jade's almond shaped, gold flecked green eyes.


• Max Henry died when Lynne was three. He worked for an insurance company as he was too afraid to persue his love of music, particularly the saxophone.


• Guy Chesney moved to Lynne's neighborhood sometime in the last few months. By now, I've given up trying to figure out whether we've cycled through another year, or are still on the first junior year. Oi.


• Guy likes Linda Ronstadt.


• Awkward sentence much? The Henrys' tidy front room was filled with amaryllis, her mother's favorite, amaryllis.


• Is it wrong that when reading that, my first thought was of Amaryllis, the actress from SVH [the show]? After wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me, that is.


• Guy's mother wants him to be a doctor like his older brother.


• Apparently there's a junior year softball game, sponsored every year by Mr. Collins and Mr. Jaworski at Secca Lake. Liz plays first base.


• Rock Around the Clock Relay: 8PM-11AM, Saturday night. Be there or... don't.


• Max drives a silver van.


• Guy wants to go to "a music conservatory" possibly Julliard.


• Enid & Liz love Billie Holiday.


• The new uniforms are a little white skirt, and a "sweet short sleeved top." Red, I presume, since the colors are red & white.


• Jess managed to rack up at least $25 an hour in pledges. Three hours per cheerleader.


• Lila's cousin Christopher is 17 and from Kennebunk, Maine. He's also not big on giving an exact date for his impeding arrival. Cara doesn't spill the beans in front of Helen Bradley, as Helen is upset enough about moving to L.A., and Cara didn't want to make her feel worse about probably missing Christopher's appearance. So sad, too bad.


• Since when is Enid's hair "smooth" and brown without a reddish tint? What have you done with the real Enid, ghostwriter of the week?


• The Bradleys are moving to their dream house in L.A.


• Enid's crush of the week is Brent Stein, a senior, who is tall with serious gray eyes, a satiric sense of humor, and a good dancer.


• Charlie Porter is a police sketch artist. Guy describes Lynne to him and has Charlie sketch her for the flyers announcing "On The Outside Looking In" winning the song writing competition.


• Lisa Reed is a sophomore, black, with curly short hair, and a stunning figure. However, each time I see her name, I think of someone else entirely. That Lisa would never have made it into PBA.


• Also, if Liz and Jess didn't make it to PBA until they were juniors, how exactly did Jess get over Lisa, a sophomore, making it in before she did, or at least, while she's younger than Jess? Where was the driving Lisa to suicide story?


• For some reason Helen is spelled 'Hellen' at the start of a paragraph, and at the end of that same paragraph, she's back to being Helen. Quality control is slipping severely...


• Would anyone actually say, "You're pigging the best part of the beach"? Wouldn't it be "hogging"? *confused*


• Liz went to Connecticut once to visit Amy after Ames moved away.


• OMG! Amy's moving back and Enid is not so thrilled. Awesome.


• And though it's never mentioned, way back when, in book six, to be exact, Guy had a thing for Liz. Funny that when she's actually single, he doesn't try and win her over, eh?

Quotes:
  With a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye, Lynne Henry was actually almost pretty! - Liz, you are one condescending bitch. I owe you one kneecap wipeout for that. p41

  "But what about the squad? Helen, we're counting on you! You can't drop out of cheerleading after everything we've been through together!"
  "Jessica," Cara pointed out, "what's she supposed to do? Commute from Los Angeles? Be reasonable!" - Oh, Cara, I don't think Jessica knows this "reasonable" of which you speak. p57

  She was thinking that she was the one who had to suffer most when they had auditioned Annie Whitman, but she didn't dare mention it, not with Annie right in the room. The poor girl had tried to commit suicide when she hadn't made the squad. Everyone had gone almost crazy with fear and worry. Finally they expanded the squad and let her on. The last thing Jessica wanted was to go through something like that again. - I lack the words. Truly. p58


  I could try and lie, say I didn't love this book, and that I don't at least like it now. But what's the point? Makeover books come complete with their mental montage from various makeovers on TV and in movies, and it's practically one of the SV laws that you either find the whole thing painfully stupid or cheese-a-riffic. Guess where Lynne's makeover lands? I think it's even better because she starts it herself, and that despite the cover, Liz plays very little part in the whole thing. Her exact role is to find out the mystery singer's ID and then be baffled as she inadvertently gives the secret away. That's it. Though just once I want her to give up the wrong secret and have some girl go Southern style crazy on her. I guess I have to wait for SVU, eh?
  Guy still possesses one of the worst names in the Valley, so the moment Lynne says, "Oh, Guy" in what I imagine to be a very breathy, dreamy voice, I crack up. Same as I did the first time I read it.
  Now, I'm not sure I can forgive the cover. Liz looks so annoying, and you just know she's either just said, or is about to say, "Come on, it's not that bad. You've got such a pretty face..." Although, in Lynne's case, it's her eyes. Either way, don't you just want to smack her?
  And by smack, I mean punch.
  Don't lie.
  Odd that Guy, who's been the keyboardist for The Droids for most [if not the entire] series thus far, is labeled the lead guitarist and also offers to play backup guitar for Lynne when she sings. Which I just typed "when she sins"... something else entirely, I imagine. Anyway, so many little things got bungled with this poor book.